I was thinking today about some recent clients who have had difficulties with communicating. This can be difficult with any group, but a family, especially extended family, often experience exacerbated issues attempting to communicate.

No group or family will always agree on everything and families often shy away from disagreement. So, nothing gets done and everyone goes home from their family foundation board meeting feeling faintly (or definitively) unsatisfied.
​
In addition to learning about each other's communications styles and agreeing to vote rather than always relying on unanimous consensus (BTW, consensus doesn't require unanimity), I like to remind people that disagreeing can be a fascinating learning experience that reinforces your respect for one another.

In a September 24th NYT column titled "The Dying Art of Disagreement", Bret Stephens wrote:

"...[T]o disagree well you must first understand well. You have to read deeply, listen carefully, watch closely. You need to grant your adversary moral respect; give him the intellectual benefit of doubt; have sympathy for his motives and participate empathically with his line of reasoning. And you need to allow for the possibility that you might yet be persuaded of what he has to say."

Here's to more disagreements with this in mind!

-Julia

So often I'm asked by people how to ensure what they give their dollars to "works" to make the change the hope to see. Since most of my clients do not choose (or have the resources to) invest in double-blind evaluations, I suggest they seek out how others have determined "what works,"

This can be done simply. One way is to keep your eyes open when you read the newspaper. For example, here's an article in the Seattle Times that explains how research has shown how music affects children's brains and their ability to learn. The New York TImes even has a regular column called "Fixes" that looks at solutions to social problems and explains why they work. Another example: a Washington Post article that reports on a Harvard University study showing that economic mobility hasn't changed in 50 years -- and what might make improve people's journey upwards.

Other foundations that do spend resources to evaluate and research are other resources. For example, the Paul G Allen Family Foundation's Disrupting Poverty:Coming Together to Build Financial Security for Individuals and Communities can offer many strategies you may wish to fund.

Consulting groups often make papers available to the public. For example, McKinsey released a report on obesity and how to tackle it.

These kinds of resources are easily available, free, and suggest strategies that you can feel good about funding. Now your next job is to find the nonprofits that use the methods suggested in research...something I'll talk about in my next blog entry.

It's never too soon to introduce caring about others and the community.  Your kids will imitate your actions so let them see you engage.  It takes time, but it is quite simple. As you go about your charitable and community building activities, bring the kids along. At a certain age, they can be plopped at the back of a board room with crayons or an iPad. They won't hear or understand much (or anything) that is going on, but they will recall that their parents find it important to be involved in community activities.

​As children get older and you decide they're ready to receive an allowance, require that they divide their allowance into two or three pots: to spend, to save... and to donate. You can simply give your child three jelly jars or purchase items designed for this purpose, such as Moon jars. Then, once a year, ask your children what they care about — animals, children who need health care, people who need housing — and help them donate the money.  ​

Make it a family event to volunteer — collecting tickets at the PTA carnival, serving a meal at the homeless teen center, participating ​in clean-up day at the local park or beach.  Volunteering as a family reinforces shared values.

​When you think the time is right, provide a small amount — $100 - $500 — to your children and have them work together to determine where it should be donated. (A good way to learn how to make decisions — and compromises.) You can even ask fellow foundation trustees, other family members or good family friends to serve as philanthropic mentors to your kids.

There are some formal youth philanthropy programs where teens serve on grantmaking boards. Youth Philanthropy Connect is a national organization.  Community foundations and Social Venture Partners are two places to look locally for these (the links lead to examples in Seattle), or go to  Learning to Give for other ideas.

—Julia

I want to be a philanthropic…how do I start?

​Congratulations! Giving to your community is a worthy goal. You know, you've already likely achieved that goal. Do you volunteer at your local food bank? Give to your church, synagogue, mosque, meeting house, etc? Serve on the board of a local non-profit organization? Call yourself a philanthropist or good citizen, or nice person?  

If you're talking about making donations in a thoughtful and organized manner, there are many ways to do so. The easiest?  Writing checks to the nonprofits you care about. Yes, there are structures out there that sound more "official," such as a donor- advised fund or a private foundation. And you may want to look into the pros and cons of these entities. But in each of these choices (and there are others), you start the same way. Answer the question:  

“What am I trying to accomplish?”  

Well, (I hear you say), “I already told you.  I want to be philanthropic.”  ​

May I suggest that you go beyond this to wanting to be effective with your philanthropy?  If you don't want to, then you should keep doing what you're already doing and stop reading this.  You don't need me.

If you do want to practice effective — and rewarding — philanthropy, then answering that question is your first step.  Some examples?  

• “I want to ensure that all children have an adult in their lives who care about them.”
• “I want to share the joy of giving with my grandchildren.”
• “I want to help people who’ve hit hard times find and keep jobs.
• “I want to provide clean water and sanitation to a needy village in Haiti.”
• “I want to give back to the people in the community where my wealth was created.”

You get the idea. There are so many worthy goals. But the simple act of choosing a goal allows you to make all your following decisions so much easier and it gives you a chance to achieve something worthwhile.

—Julia